Go steady with me, I know it turns you off when I get talkin' like a teen

Last night I couldn't sleep. I lay there for hours staring at the roof and running around my head. I feel like I'm smothering the person I care about most and it's really bugging me.

I've said before that I'm a very needy person. I'm ridiculously clingy and it causes me to text a lot (seriously, a lot). If we're not holding hands while walking around together I feel awkward. If I don't kiss her for more than an hour when we're hanging out I get sad. The problem is that the more I think about how smothering I am the worse I feel about, and the more inclined I am to apologise. That was what kept me awake last night, I kept thinking and thinking about it and that just made me want to send more text messages apologising for all my recent spam, which is the exact opposite of what I'm trying to do.

I don't really think it's that big of a deal and she's never complained about it but sometimes you can just tell when someone needs some space. Apparently there is too much of a good thing, and just because I've never witnessed it doesn't mean others haven't. I know I need to back off a little but it's a hard thing to do when the opposite is built into your DNA.

I am trying though, but it's hard to find a balance. What if I back off too much and she thinks I'm losing interest? As you can see it doesn't take much to get my paranoia involved too. What I really need to do is stop worrying about it and just let things happen, but that's what I've been doing and how I ended up feeling like I'm being smothering. Some might suggest more communication would solve all this but what else is there to say? I just can't help it, I think about her constantly and that makes me want to talk to her. It'd help if I wasn't so needy for replies. Most of the time I don't expect a response, unless I've asked a question, but I still get disappointed when I don't get one.

I need to suck it up and stop complaining. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, because of the amazing relationship I have with an incredible woman. She knows how I feel, I know how she feels, I don't need to contact her every minute to tell her things she already knows. Every now and then is more than enough.

I should probably get back to my uni work now.

I just want back in your head

Soooo last weekend me and Ash headed down to Bunbury for Groovin' the Moo festival. Tickets and accommodation were my birthday present to her back in March and now the day had finally arrived. We were rather excited.



We set off on Friday afternoon after I'd picked her up from work. I'd managed to score dad's car for the trip so I was looking forward to the drive. We amused ourselves with my trusty iPod, newly loaded with a GTM playlist, and of course the ever present camera. Many awesome (and possibly dangerous) photos were taken. Along the way we stopped for some Coat of Arms pie and met some emus.



The weather was cloudy but pleasant and when we arrived in Bunbury we were treated to an awesome display of 'God's fingers'. We managed to find the place we were staying and checked in before unloading the car. A walk along the beach followed but we were soon in need of feeding so we went back to the car and drove off in search of the cafe strip.



Parking was free (take a hint Freo) and choice was plentiful but we eventually settled on a nice looking cafe called Cafe Bean and I treated Ash to a birthday dinner. We washed our meals down with the best tasting coffee I have ever had. Seriously, I'm thinking about moving to Bunbury just so I can frequent that cafe. Went exploring in the car after dinner so that we'd know where the venue was the next day. Wasn't too hard to find and I didn't get lost which is cool.



Went back to the room after that and planned to go for a night-time swim. We even got all the way down to the water in our bathers but it was pitch black, rather choppy, and freezing cold so we chickened out. Instead it was back to the room for a hot shower, then into bed to enjoy Masterchef :P



Woke bright and early and headed into Cafe Bean again for breakfast and coffee. Grabbed some cash from a nearby ATM before heading to the festival (via the room because Ash forgot her jacket). Found parking at the shopping centre and made the trek across the field to the venue gates. There was zero queue so getting in was a breeze. A random guy gave us GTM headbands and someone else gave us programs, then we went exploring.



Soon enough we ended up in the main stage bar, where Ash's work friend gave us free drinks. We spent most of the morning wandering from stage to stage looking for a party but the crowds were pretty dead. Voltaire were pretty cool and Harlequin League were average as always but at least their audience as a bit more Lively. Grabbed lunch to escape the mindless drone of Muph and Plutonic and bled from the ears during all but one Kisschasy song. Then it was finally time for some fun.



Lisa Mitchell was amazing once again but clearly tired after not having slept for a few days. The sound engineer was clearly drunk because there was way too much bass but her set was good, she was friendly and funny, and the crowd was really into it.



British India were next and failed to impress but were far from the worst band of the day. Slaughtering Nirvana's Lithium lost them some major points though. Miami Horror on the other hand were great fun, and the singer climbed up the side of the stage Faker style.



We had no idea who Spoon were so we went looking for some dinner before getting a sport for Tegan and Sara. They were by far the highlight of the day, and probably the best band I've seen this year so far. There set was great, the sound was great and their onstage banter was amusing and entertaining.



Grinspoon put on a good show but the setlist could have done with a few more old songs and a few less new ones.



Luke Steele needs to bury this Empire of the Sun thing. Bury it so deep no-one even remembers it existed. He looked like a complete douche. Vampire Weekend did a good job of healing our ears and eyes after he'd finally left the stage. They were fun and energetic but did get a bit boring for the second half of the set. We bailed after Ash had heard all the songs she wanted to and went to get a spot for Silverchair.



Daniel Johns has snapped. He's quite loopy now days and his music is getting weirder and weirder. But he was funny, quite possibly drunk, and the old songs they played were awesome. Especially enjoyed Israel's Son, Anna's Song and Freak. The latter in particular as they stopped halfway through to break up a fight in the moshpit, and when one of the guys tried to argue Johns replied with "Oi nah we're in the middle of a song cunt." Hilarious.



Walking back to the car was fucking freezing but we did make it and cranked the heat way up. Getting out was as easy as getting in, no traffic jams or anything. Got back to the room and pretty much went straight to bed, we were both pretty knackered.



Took it easy the next morning. Packed up the car and checked out a bit after 10 before heading back to my favourite cafe for breakfast and one last coffee. Spent the day exploring Bunbury and taking tourist photos. We went to the lighthouse and the lookout tower, then strolled around the boardwalk.



Watched a Taffy demonstration while there but it was a bit long-winded and we eventually got bored. Went next door to Dome and had an awesome salad for lunch before hopping back in the car. Drove around looking for cool places to take polaroid pictures, then went for a nice walk along the beach again. It was pretty cold and windy though so when our feet were nice and numb we hopped back in the car and started heading for home.



Stopped at the pie place again, this time just for a drink, then Ash wanted to drive the awesome car so i hopped in the passenger seat and relaxed (and played with the music). Not so many photos taken on the way back but we were pretty knackered.



Overall I can honestly say it was the best weekend of my life. Had an amazing time with and amazing person and now I'm super excited for Rotto in July.

Check out the Facebook album for more pics.

Congratulations!

Well done Ash, you've successfully completed my scavenger hunt and found your way to my blog. Not much a prize I know but I'll give you something better next time I see you.

I know I said I wanted to go through it with you, and I still do, but I figured I may as well show you now and then when we do read it together you'll be able to ask questions or something. I dunno, I just wanted to make a scavenger hunt :P

Anywhoo the posts I was talking about are the early ones, mainly the first one. I've told you most of what's in it already through various conversations but this'll be the whole story. I just want to emphasise that I'm in no way trying to make you feel guilty, and I don't hold any grudge against you, and I agree that it turned out to be a positive. You should also know that it's a bit of an exaggeration (I was feeling pretty shit and I tend to be melodramatic when I'm like that), well everything except the bit about anberlin. Also, you were NOT the sole cause of my depression. Losing you just made it harder to deal with.

So, I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you enjoy the other posts as well should you choose to read them.

I can't wait to see you on Thursday.

I love you so very much X

Dear you, tonight let's get ahead of ourselves

When I started this blog it was intended to be a place for me to vent about what's going on in my life/head. Most people tend to associate "venting" with the expulsion of negativity, but I believe that better falls under "ranting". Venting does not always have to be negative, as I am about to demonstrate.

I've just had the second amazing weekend in a row, and currently have so many things to look forward to that it literally blows my mind. For the last couple of days I've been in such a good mood that I could probably bring about world peace if I put my mind to it. My life right now, is so. Fucking. Awesome.

I'm currently ridiculously excited for Groovin' the Moo festival in Bunbury, which is now ten days away. Three days with Ash, as well as a kick ass festival with a killer line-up. Bliss. Also, today I spent several hours trying to get through to Rottnest. I did eventually, and booked us 4 nights in July. Now we're just trying to get our stingy friends to come with, but I'm really looking forward to it.

But the main source of my bubblyness is how much time I've been spending with Ash, and how much time we're still going to be spending together. Last year uni kept getting in the way an I'd be lucky to see her twice a week, now I see her almost every day and I fucking love it.

When I started this blog I expected it to be mostly ranting. I can't even express how glad I am it's not.