Go steady with me, I know it turns you off when I get talkin' like a teen

Last night I couldn't sleep. I lay there for hours staring at the roof and running around my head. I feel like I'm smothering the person I care about most and it's really bugging me.

I've said before that I'm a very needy person. I'm ridiculously clingy and it causes me to text a lot (seriously, a lot). If we're not holding hands while walking around together I feel awkward. If I don't kiss her for more than an hour when we're hanging out I get sad. The problem is that the more I think about how smothering I am the worse I feel about, and the more inclined I am to apologise. That was what kept me awake last night, I kept thinking and thinking about it and that just made me want to send more text messages apologising for all my recent spam, which is the exact opposite of what I'm trying to do.

I don't really think it's that big of a deal and she's never complained about it but sometimes you can just tell when someone needs some space. Apparently there is too much of a good thing, and just because I've never witnessed it doesn't mean others haven't. I know I need to back off a little but it's a hard thing to do when the opposite is built into your DNA.

I am trying though, but it's hard to find a balance. What if I back off too much and she thinks I'm losing interest? As you can see it doesn't take much to get my paranoia involved too. What I really need to do is stop worrying about it and just let things happen, but that's what I've been doing and how I ended up feeling like I'm being smothering. Some might suggest more communication would solve all this but what else is there to say? I just can't help it, I think about her constantly and that makes me want to talk to her. It'd help if I wasn't so needy for replies. Most of the time I don't expect a response, unless I've asked a question, but I still get disappointed when I don't get one.

I need to suck it up and stop complaining. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, because of the amazing relationship I have with an incredible woman. She knows how I feel, I know how she feels, I don't need to contact her every minute to tell her things she already knows. Every now and then is more than enough.

I should probably get back to my uni work now.